Celebrating Sarcasm

News:
A German woman has been evicted from her home because of her noisy lovemaking. Mother of two Alenka Schmidt, 34, was accused by her landlady of breaching the peace.
It is difficult to believe that love-making activity could be so noisy as to disturb the neighbours’ sleep .The only noises that could have emerged were some moans of pleasure ,some  bed-creaking noises etc. Any way she has admitted to some noise  on  occasions.But it is unfair to accuse her of high decibel sounds in love making such as will constitute breach of noise.The landlady’s notice stated complaints by neighbours of “regularly,clearly sexually motivated,loud disturbances of peace”.We don’t believe her love making could be so violent as to cause noise breaches.Let the local authorities clarify if the impugned sounds have been above the decibel levels prescribed by the law.

News:
CARACAS (Reuters) – A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy. Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN149975820070917

Supposing an incident like this were to happen to you . When the autopsy is taking place you know that you are not yet near the Pearly Gates and you are sure the white robed man who is cutting you up is not St.Peter. Obviously you shout if your vocal cords are intact.But for a moment you imagine that the autopsy is yet to begin and you are now a mere body that has suddenly come to life and there is not a soul in the morgue with whom you can share this piece of knowledge.

That is why it is suggested that you must always carry a cellular phone in your shirt pocket containing important numbers like your wife,boss,friends,901 etc.