Celebrating Sarcasm

“WASHINGTON (AP) – A judge who lost a $54 million    lawsuit against his dry cleaner over a pair of missing pants has lost his job, District of Columbia officials confirmed. RoyPearson’’s term as an administrative law judge expired May 2 and the D.C. Commission on Selection and Tenure of Administrative Law Judges has voted not to reappoint him, the city’s general counsel, wrote Nov. 8 in response to a Freedom of Information Act request from The Associated Press.”

Breitbart
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8ST45AG0&show_article=1&catnum=9

The “open boobs” campaign

“Decades after some women cast aside their bras as an act of feminist radicalism, a group of Swedish women have launched a campaign to go topless in local swimming pools. The Bara Brost (Bare Breast) campaign began two months ago in the south of the country, one of the campaigners, Astrid Hellroth, told AFP.”
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=071113220825.er3h5k8g&show_article=1&catnum=9ℑ=large

“The British singer who sang the Croatian anthem before last night’s match accidentally sang ‘My penis is a mountain’.Tony Henry was trying to sing the national anthem in Croatian, but reportedly got the words wrong.”

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2609509.html

The groom was hairless and hid his mug under a wig
A bald pate was a nasty bug , not suited to a warm hug
When found bald , she gave him a whack, bold and big.

“A man was beaten by his fiance and in-laws in India after they found out he was bald and wearing a wig.Prabir Das, of Dispur in Assam, was also relieved of his belongings, reports the Daily Telegraph.He told police his fiance yanked off his hairpiece after dinner and began beating and abusing him for hiding his pate.”

We can play hopscotch in a creche while our wives shop
Here we can read the papers,skip and jump and hop
And carry on nicely while they shop and finally we drop.

News:“A Spanish shopping centre has set up a creche for husbands.The mall, in L’Hospitalet de Llobregat near Barcelona, wanted to provide a place for husbands to relax while their wives shop.”

The Brits’ favourite word is “nincompoop”. Over here we just say “poop”

“MARYSVILLE, Calif. (AP) – A 54-year-old woman was recovering in the hospital after being hit by a Union Pacific freight train south of Marysville. Deborah Thompson told authorities afterward that she drank a bottle of whiskey before she wandered to the  railroad tracks and tried to wave the train to a stop. When asked why, she told Yuba County sheriff’s deputies she was just being silly.”

The court no doubt agrees it is a great art to bare
But flashing in the court is rather too much to bear.

“A German man, who was in court to appeal against his conviction for flashing, possibly didn’t help his case when he stripped off in the middle of the court.‘The court withdrew for deliberations and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again,’ said a spokesman for the court, in the western city of Duisburg.
‘It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art.’”

“Tests showed that men performed worse after they were shown pictures of fair-haired women, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Researchers concluded that rather than simply being distracted, the men were subconsciously copying the stereotype of the “blonde bimbo”.

Academics at the University of Paris X-Nanterre examined men’s ability to complete general knowledge tests after exposure to women with different hair colours.

Throughout both trials, those participants exposed to blondes recorded the lowest scores.

“This proves that people confronted with stereotypes generally behave in line with them,” said Thierry Meyer, joint author of the study and professor of social psychology at the university.”
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2605767.html?menu=news.quirkies

“A man accused of leaving an El Lago restaurant without paying his tab was arrested a short time later on a trespassing charge by the Lakeview Police Department.

According to a police report, an employee at Gabacho’s Mexican Restaurant in the 4400 block of NASA Parkway called police to report the theft.

When officers responded, they learned that the man was seen walking toward a vacant building on the other side of the road after leaving the restaurant.

Police checked the area and found an open door in the back of the building. An officer went inside and called out, “Marco.”

The man’s name was not Marco, detective Tim Dohr said. Instead, “the officer was trying to inject some humor into the situation.”

Police found the suspect after he responded, “Polo.”
http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2007/11/we-cannot-belie.html

(Re-blogged-acknowledged with thanks)