A draft advertisement for the post of cricket coach for the Indian Test Cricket coach

The candidate shall have the following qualifications:

  • Should be of foreign origin (preferably Caucasian); Australians will be preferred since Indians including us perceive all Australians to be straight-mouthed
  • Coach and his family should have no issues with spending 4-5 months in extreme hot and humid conditions of India
  • Coach should be willing to wear BCCI provided t-shirts for key public events
  • Should be willing and able to bear occasional slaps from cricket fans
  • Able to communicate reasonably with players having different levels of English skills (from Sehwag to Ganguly)
  • If chosen, will not refuse offer within 3 months from the date of announcement”